scout camp

When Josh came into my room that morning his tears were unusually genuine and there was no whining so I knew right away what was wrong. "Sam?" I said and he nodded his head. This boy of mine who picks a fight with his older brother on a regular basis was distraught at the idea of Sam being gone at scout camp for a whole week. I hadn't realized it until that moment but those two had rarely been apart for more than a day or so and never for a whole week. Josh's mood was heavy. The girls missed him too. After breakfast, Sophie looked around and said suddenly "Where's Sam?" as if she couldn't imagine a reason in the world why he wouldn't be there. Ava, setting the table for dinner, was so bothered by the empty spot where Sam usually sits that she asked me if she could at least put a place mat on his spot. I hadn't expected it - this sibling sorrow. I have to admit that while I had a lot of empathy for how they were feeling (I missed him too) I was also secretly so happy. You watch your kids day in and day out and they play and laugh but they fight and cry too. And you just don't know - do they love each other? I have made hard choices to skip out on some activities so that we could have regular family time and it's so hard to say - am I doing the right thing?

Nate went to the last two days of scout camp so when they both came home I followed Nate upstairs and we sat in our room and talked and talked about everything that had happened in the days that we had been apart. I needed to grab my phone so I ran downstairs and then literally stopped in my tracks. Literally. I stared for a good 30 seconds. All four of my kids, the people I love best, were sitting in the patio chairs with popsicles, talking and talking about everything that had happened in the days that they had been apart. I knew how that felt. How you need to catch up with someone that usually knows everything about your day. It was such a rush - the rare payoff for the hard work of being a sibling referee.

Still I wasn't sure if Sam had felt the same way that they had. After all, he had been away on an adventure. He had seen a bear and slept in a tent with his best friend. But that night I knew. We went to the movies to see Kung Fu Panda 2 and while we were getting our seats Sam went to buy some candy with his own money. He came back into the darkened theater and quietly gave each of his siblings a king sized Kit Kat. And in that moment I just knew. This was his way of letting them know. He had missed them too.